ay amor, me duele tanto...

Just saw Broken Flowers, which was about ten times more depressing and alienating than I had imagined for some reason (yes, it was Jim Jarmusch, but still, the plot sounded like it had room for whimsy or something!). By the way, why has Bill Murray played the same character in the last five films or so? It's not even that interesting or complex: just a burned out guy that stares into space a lot. But I digress.

The main plot of the film revolves around his character visiting some old loves that may or may not be the mother of his child, revealed to him in an anonymous note. What would it be like if I visited some of my old loves? Am I going to end up alone and washed up like his character, after a string of short-termed love affairs? I have dated a lot of interesting and wonderful men; I've dated a lot of lonely and confused men. I have dated people that seemed to be right for me and then disappeared, or that seemed they were right and then weren't, or that never seemed they were right at all but the sex was great or, pathetically, they were the only ones around at the time. I guess I'm feeling kind of down because I've reconnected with a person of my past. This person and I have always had an ill-fated relationship, which was part of its allure, but I'm afraid at this point it's gotten stale. People that are wrong for me or that I hold no chance of having a real relationship with are just not as appealing as they used to be. It seems like that's a good thing, although what the hell will my prospects be soon?