Loneliness.

The only downside to having friends that are incredible lovers, and that spend the entire weekend with you, is that the Monday morning afterwards is incredibly lonely.

He is not perfect, nor we do have a perfect relationship. We are often awkward and I feel like the comments I make are silly. He kind of got on my nerves this past weekend. He is incredibly cocky.

He is also, hands down, one of the most honest and compassionate people I have met, and I value those traits so much that I can look past everything. It doesn't hurt that we are extremely well matched sexually, and that we have an amazing time together whenever that can transpire.
The current suffocating loneliness I feel wasn't just brought on by having this intense weekend and then being alone in my apartment. It was more brought on by the realization that I have very few intense connections with people, and even those that I have are fleeting. I don't want to be someone that needs to hold on to others to feel at all connected. I want to be okay with having memories and having moments and seeking things and sometimes, or even most of the time, not finding them. But I am young and I will grow into myself, I suppose.

Man, it sucks to sleep alone again, though, and have no one to share your dreams with in the morning. On to the next one, I suppose (I'm not going to even go into a certain E and his whereabouts...geez!)