Confession: I am EXTREMELY self-centered.
(In case you're wondering why I've posted SOOO much today, a few explanations:
a) there are about 3 other people in my whole office, and there offices aren't anywhere near mine. I'm lonely and it's quiet!
b) i'm in "senioritis" mode since quitting on wednesday.
c) i'm actually not tired, so i have a lot of mental energy, just don't feel like applying it to the stack of grants I have left to do.)
Instead, I am going to ruminate on exactly how self-centered I am.
I have already explained that growing up, I was an avid Vanity Fair reader. I am also obsessed with watching documentaries. Well, whenever I watch or read those, I imagine that they are about me, and I imagine all of the pundits and friends of the people featured are my friends and acquaintances discussing, well, me. These are "she always" kind of statments:
"She always had a knack for..."
"She always knew..."
"She always feared..."
Also, as I finish up my job, I keep thinking about how my co-workers will talk about me when I'm gone, as they often talk about our other former co-workers. I generally like to think about how people are thinking about me, not in the "Why doesn't she do some sit-ups?!" kind of way, but rather in a tumultuous, ardent, internal monologue kind of way. They are deconstructing the many witty comments I have made to subtly mock their inconsistent viewpoints, they ponder the many contradictions that make up everything "kanopeykin". I suppose the redeeming quality is that these monologues are by no means always postive; actually, more often than not, people are discussing my faults over brunch with their buddies the morning after we hooked up, stuff like that. Delusions of grandeur, obviously.
My question for the peanut gallery is: Is this normal??
a) there are about 3 other people in my whole office, and there offices aren't anywhere near mine. I'm lonely and it's quiet!
b) i'm in "senioritis" mode since quitting on wednesday.
c) i'm actually not tired, so i have a lot of mental energy, just don't feel like applying it to the stack of grants I have left to do.)
Instead, I am going to ruminate on exactly how self-centered I am.
I have already explained that growing up, I was an avid Vanity Fair reader. I am also obsessed with watching documentaries. Well, whenever I watch or read those, I imagine that they are about me, and I imagine all of the pundits and friends of the people featured are my friends and acquaintances discussing, well, me. These are "she always" kind of statments:
"She always had a knack for..."
"She always knew..."
"She always feared..."
Also, as I finish up my job, I keep thinking about how my co-workers will talk about me when I'm gone, as they often talk about our other former co-workers. I generally like to think about how people are thinking about me, not in the "Why doesn't she do some sit-ups?!" kind of way, but rather in a tumultuous, ardent, internal monologue kind of way. They are deconstructing the many witty comments I have made to subtly mock their inconsistent viewpoints, they ponder the many contradictions that make up everything "kanopeykin". I suppose the redeeming quality is that these monologues are by no means always postive; actually, more often than not, people are discussing my faults over brunch with their buddies the morning after we hooked up, stuff like that. Delusions of grandeur, obviously.
My question for the peanut gallery is: Is this normal??
posted by Brynne at 5:15 PM
2 Comments:
haha you and i should have blog-posting battles. i envision they would go a little something like this:
"welcome to day 4 of sonja vs brynne - the blog posting chronicles: let the battle begin!
(later) brynne has managed four entries today! how will sonja respond? can she squeeze one in before leaving to meet brynne at kramer's? stay tuned..."
ok so maybe it's not that funny but it sounded really funny in my head - complete with "color" commentary from veteran ESPN sportscasters even...
i suppose this will forever mark me as the complete and utter dork that i am...
I don't know if it's "normal", but when I left my job, I did the same thing, hoping people would talk about me-- both how they couldn't live without me and also bitching about the crap I left behind...
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