what a night
yay for california saying that banning gay marriage is unconstitutional! yay for americans finally disagreeing with the president's plans for destroying the social safety net! those are just wapo headlines, meaning that my day is brightened by just glancing at the wapo homepage.
my day needs brightening, largely because a bout of the weekend too much alcohol/weather's changing way too much/is listening to a lot of elliot smith damaging to your health? sniffles led me to take sudafed nighttime last night. BAD IDEA. i woke up about 12 times last night, afraid that i was suffocating, kicking off my blankets. i dreamt that this boy that i sleep with from time to time was sleeping with my engaged high school friend, and that i had to tell both of them some secrets of mine. i tried to convince myself that i wasn't in fact suffocating and that sleep would be preferable to my heart beating in my chest like it owes it money. yes, that medicine is supposed to help you SLEEP.
in other news, dread becomes me: our board meeting is coming up! at these, i and other staff have to justify our choices of organizations to fund to our highly irrational group of trustees. we have to answer questions which are unpredictable and generally insignificant, and apologize for not knowing enough if we don't have answers. we have to argue ideology and cloak our beliefs in centrist terms in order for them to even consider anything we have to say. let the good times roll! actually, this meeting should be pretty chill. i can lay back and feel competent, knowing that i am getting the best groups the resources they need, or at least playing some kind of role in that process.
somehow i have become someone I despise: a young "professional" woman out of a chick flick. i could have been carrie bradshaw this weekend (it pains me to type that). i agonized over two phone conversations with someone, and i would have dictated every word to my girlfriends from them to analyze if i didn't have at least the minor degree of self-restraint which is all that is separating me from "chick" oblivion. god help me.
my day needs brightening, largely because a bout of the weekend too much alcohol/weather's changing way too much/is listening to a lot of elliot smith damaging to your health? sniffles led me to take sudafed nighttime last night. BAD IDEA. i woke up about 12 times last night, afraid that i was suffocating, kicking off my blankets. i dreamt that this boy that i sleep with from time to time was sleeping with my engaged high school friend, and that i had to tell both of them some secrets of mine. i tried to convince myself that i wasn't in fact suffocating and that sleep would be preferable to my heart beating in my chest like it owes it money. yes, that medicine is supposed to help you SLEEP.
in other news, dread becomes me: our board meeting is coming up! at these, i and other staff have to justify our choices of organizations to fund to our highly irrational group of trustees. we have to answer questions which are unpredictable and generally insignificant, and apologize for not knowing enough if we don't have answers. we have to argue ideology and cloak our beliefs in centrist terms in order for them to even consider anything we have to say. let the good times roll! actually, this meeting should be pretty chill. i can lay back and feel competent, knowing that i am getting the best groups the resources they need, or at least playing some kind of role in that process.
somehow i have become someone I despise: a young "professional" woman out of a chick flick. i could have been carrie bradshaw this weekend (it pains me to type that). i agonized over two phone conversations with someone, and i would have dictated every word to my girlfriends from them to analyze if i didn't have at least the minor degree of self-restraint which is all that is separating me from "chick" oblivion. god help me.
posted by Brynne at 4:23 PM
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